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| So its our anniversary. Yey for 2 years in the same relationship. Its suppose to be a time for a celebration right? Instead its just another day for a fight between us. *Sigh* This shit is getting old. We have a whole love/hate thing going on between us. I was excited for it when I got out of work this morning and just really the turn of events leaves me to not really giving a fuck. Im so sick of him talking shit about me not having any money. So the fuck what Im paying for my rent car insurance, food and rg&e every month and trying to maintain a household on a part time almost full time job. It sucks. Yeah I paid too much for that britney spears ticket but damn do you have to tell me it everytime you buy me a dollar hamburger. Youre really not going that much out of the way for me. I feel so fed up with life lately. I want that excitement that everyone else feels. Having a shitty day, trying to turn it around. Maybe the nights still salvageable. | | |
| Everyone has a breaking point, Whats yours? Apparently I have a very strong one because I don't let relationships die a natural death. I hold on for dear life. To the point where its harmful and toxic. I continue to stay with a man who on every public defenition abuses me. Physically intimidating me, mentally abusing me isolates me from my friends names put downs and this is the second time its gotten violent. So bad that I drove myself drunk to the hospital because I was afraid of neck damage. At what point do I tell my self enough is enough? Its not even the sorry's because there are none. Theres no honey moon period after a fight just another perhaps even bigger one. Im insecure Im jealous Im all these things but just by me being aware of these concepts doesn't help me change anything. Im all for self improvement, but does a old dog really learn new tricks? Can I get over my insecurity and trust issues? Can he get over his rage and anger issues and violent tendencies? Do you recommend consoling for boyfriend/girlfriend relationships? Xanga help me out | | |
| I just finished my resume. So I'm officially on the summer job hunt. This summer is going to be bittersweet no more familaritiy of Seabreeze's friendly faces, the end of harry potter, Trying to have fun with no money, putting all my money straight into my bank account. Going to the doctor and seeing why I have this rash on my neck and scalp and paying for it all out of pocket. Prom paying for all the things i need for prom. Graduation gifts for 3 people and a dress to wear for Jons graduation.Working my butt off , both at my new job and in exercising. getting up at 6 every morning to run . Also saving up for Italy I hope I get a hell of a job | | |
| Ciao, My life? I never can cohesively sum it up a sentence , rather it is a jumble of random thoughts and words. There's about a million worries in my head right now. The summer is quickly approaching and still no job. Its not as if I applied any where yet but the outlook seems pretty bleak , its either I'm flipping hamburgers for another summer or ringing up purchases for customers. I would like to work in the hospital to make a little more money who knows whatever happens I know its God's will . My boyfriends birthday is wednesday I need to think of some thing special for him . I love him so much honestly he has been an angel in my life. This week I need to withdraw from 2 classes and then i wont have to worry so much. Its ok I still have 4 other classes. I want to lose some weight for summer and prom , be more active bike rides with cynthia , play tennis and actually beat jonathon. I might even start to walk my dog .This week has been fun I really miss hanging out with Alicia and I'm glad all my friends like each other . So that means more fun this summer <table border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0"> <tr><td><embed src="http://www.mugglenet.com/countdown/cd-dh_individual.swf" width="200" height="100"></embed></td></tr> </table> | | |
| -Edit- Ciao,  The more I think about Italy the more of a possibilty it becomes. Im starting to really wrap my head around this idea.It's going to take a lot of energy and will power on my part to acomplish and with my responsibility issues I know its not going to be easy. As of today I want to go but when I look at the sacrifices and costs of this trip I'll probably start doubting if I really want to go or not.I have a bad habit of talking my self out of things I really want for various reasons. Its not as if I have something more important in my life right now. My boyfriend and my Grandma are both encouraging me to stick this out and go.Its true how often does this oppurtunity come up in ones life. It's been my dream for the last couple of years to visit Italy. But of course my grandpa the negative one , he doesnt want me to go,but doesnt come right out and tell me no but he says look at the costs beyond the trip and the passport and all the stuff thats not included. This plays right into my insucurites and he knows it.
Tomarrow's easter . Wooo Go Jesus!!  I am so thankful for all the blessing he's brought into my life. I finally accept him as my lord and savior , so this is my first easter that has some meaning to me. No ones coming over for dinner just my grandparents and I. I wonder if Wal-marts open tomarrow. I could always go Monday though. I wonder what I should get my grandma for her birthday? She's hard to buy for.I need want to get jon the viva pinata game for his birthday, but thats kinda lame because then it would be so predictable. I was thinking of buying him bins and drawers to organize his room , while he's at school to be a suprise. I still owe him a sheet set. It would be easy to I dont have school on wednesdays , Id just need to talk to his mom to get an okay. I'd probably need cynthia's help to drive or maybe jose to bring the bins to his house. ok. Im ranting 
104 Days till Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows book [ Hp&DH] 96 Days till Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix movie [ Hp&OOTP] Arrivederci ! . 
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